Jacqueline Novogratz, Founder & CEO, Acumen

Fear of fundraising is a classic fear for any social builder.

We know we have to do it. But if we're empathic people, it can be especially difficult because we're putting ourselves in the shoes of the people from whom we're asking for money.

When I started Acumen, I wasn't very good at it. I had the passion that's needed to convince people that I was going to do everything I could to try. But when it came to the actual ask, I would often freeze. Or I might make an ask, and when they would stare at me, I would jump in and fill the silence.

Someone gave me really great advice.

Number one, never make an ask on the first meeting. Spend time, get to know the person, understand what she or he cares about. If they've ever given gifts, how big are the gifts that they give?

Number two, talk about the organization that you're building, and why you? Why now? 

Then when it does come time for the ask, be clear. And when there is silence, inevitably there will be silence because the person is thinking of what to do - don't jump in. Let the silence hang to a point where the person might feel uncomfortable. Certainly, I would feel uncomfortable.

Someone said to me, can you count to ten inside your head? Or if that's awkward, make sure you have a glass of water in front of you. So when you say, "What I'm asking for is X so that we can pursue this mission," pick up that glass of water. Drink a few sips so that the silence can hang.

At least for me, it turned into a really effective mechanism to teach me to let people have time to make their decisions, to sit with the discomfort.

Now I never need water, and I don't count. I think I've come to learn and understand that I'm actually giving people the opportunity, privilege, to be part of something that's great, that needs them. Where they will benefit and not just give.

 Key takeaways 

• Understand donor’s interest before asking for support

• Communicate “why you, why now”

• Give donors time to think and respond after you make an ask; don’t fear the silence